Misses, stumbles about a bit then misses the last train home.
Warning: Contains unrestrained use of the word Cuddihy.
5-0
1. This being your first Prem Predictor campaign, how do you think you'll do?
Well, I'm pretty pleased with going from joint bottom to 4th within one week (scoring 30+ points which must be a record, surely) and then keeping a similar position.. I hope, like City, to finish in the top four - but, unlike City, I will.
2. Who would you class as your deadliest rival(s) in the competition?
Connolly is obviously up there as we go way back. I remember when he was just a young badger (in fact I remember him looking exactly like a badger - he'll know what I mean). With you, Chuck Norris, being what can only be described as "a cunt", I think you're up there too. But then again everyone in this is a twat. Get off your arses instead of wasting your time pissing around with this shit. Study. Come up with a cure for cancer you fucking cunts! (Whingy-voice) "Sorry - I can't come up with a cure for cancer 'cos I'm spending all my time predicting football scores for Andy's Premiership Predictor". YOU FUCKING CUNTS!!!!
Anyway - Connolly and Chuck Norris.
3. Who would you most like to see win the Cuddihy Cup this term?
Cuddihy has to win it, surely. You can't out-Cuddihy the Cuddmeister. I mean, I've never met the guy, but I'm sure he's a proper Cuddihy in the worst possible sense. For anyone else to out Cuddidy Cuddihy would suely be to Anti-Cuddhilaistic. The universe would implode. It's therefore Cuddihy's duty to maintain his Cuddihyness.
4. What/who would you choose as a mascot/symbol to represent you in this season's competition?
A picture (screen print - white on black) of Charles Manson a-snuffalin'-a-down on the still-warm twitching undeveloped pussy of the unborn daughter of Sharon Tate that "The Family" had just cut out of her womb before they killed her.
5. Picture this potentially common scenario:
- The price of genetically modified pasty components has rocketed within the military eletronics sector - this has caused a trade deficit with the Democratic Republic of Congo for many minutes
- You are in the fairground trade and have been unexpectedly visited by a group of peregrine falcons all aged under 7 from Bridlington - and on a Wednesday afternoon
- Wet Wet Wet are at number 1 in the charts again with "Love is all Around" (remixed by Cradle of Filth and a guy who lives in a pram from Brighton)
- David Cameron is due to give a presentation of the merits of wearing soft cheeses at the local branch of Timpson's wearing German blackforest hunting gear in a caravan shaped like a shoe
With this in mind, who would be your top 3 choices of armpit/nostril hair to use to build a raft to keep former members of Jethro Tull happy on a crocodile infested crazy golf course?
1) Cheryl Cole - 'cos she's dead fit
2) Audrey Tautou - 'cos she's dead fit
3) Nelson Mandela - 'cos even though he was a murdering terrorist, he still has to be on everyone's list
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